Characteristics of Sex & Love Addicts *
- Having few healthy
boundaries, we become sexually involved with and/or emotionally attached
to people without knowing them.
- Fearing abandonment
and loneliness, we stay in and return to painful, destructive relationships,
concealing our dependency needs from ourselves and others, growing more
isolated and alienated from friends and loved ones, ourselves, and God.
- Fearing emotional
and/or sexual deprivation, we compulsively pursue and involve ourselves
in one relationship after another, sometimes having more than one sexual
or emotional liaison at a time.
- We confuse love with
neediness, physical and sexual attraction, pity and/or the need to rescue
or be rescued.
- We feel empty and
incomplete when we are alone. Even though we fear intimacy and commitment,
we continually search for relationships and sexual contacts.
- We sexualize stress,
guilt, loneliness, anger, shame, fear and envy. We use sex or emotional
dependence as substitutes for nurturing, care, and support.
- We use sex and emotional
involvement to manipulate and control others.
- We become immobilized
or seriously distracted by romantic or sexual obsessions or fantasies.
- We avoid responsibility
for ourselves by attaching ourselves to people who are emotionally unavailable.
- We stay enslaved
to emotional dependency, romantic intrigue, or compulsive sexual activities.
- To avoid feeling
vulnerable, we may retreat from all intimate involvement, mistaking sexual
and emotional anorexia for recovery.
- We assign magical
qualities to others. We idealize and pursue them, then blame them for not
fulfilling our fantasies and expectations.
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